Here comes The new Calvary

Whew. I can already feel the pressure of being a college student. (in fairness, I just feel it this semester)

I really don't know how to manage my time when I know that I will be very busy the next few days because Kasadyaan, a cultural event of our school, is nearly coming this December. Of course, being an officer, participant, and a normal student, who studies(kunuhay?) and make some projects, at the same time is really difficult to manage.

I'm not really used to this kind of situation because I was just relaxing everytime we have some works to do. I'm too confident enough that I can finish the work at the right time and of course, I always know that the teachers are merciful enough to give an extension at tghe deadline they had set. But I guess, this time it will be a whole lot different.;(

My goshness. My head is already aching as if the things I have expected is already happening. Maybe I'll enjoy the work of being an officer and a participant but not a student. I'm worried about the research paper that was given to us by our Filipino12 teacher a while ago. I'm tired of gathering datas, making a survey, and other things that are necessary to accomplish it like what we have done during our high school days.(waah.., maloxang nxad q aneh.hu3) I guess it will be easier if it is in English because I haven't done any Filipino research paper before. I will be having a difficult time understanding the terms and interpreting the datas. My gosh. I think I will not enjoy much of my vacation because of it. haiz.

I'm always hoping that it will end nicely. And of course, with the help of my team mates, I always know that we can do it!!!;)

My haTesT Boardmate

This afternoon I wwent to the Assembly Hall at the Education Building, FU because we were recquired to witness the 3rd year convocation. I was happily entering the hall with my friend when suddenly I noticed a familiar humanly figure. So, I turned my head and disgusted to figure out it was him.(ang bwesit nqng kbordm8) He was already looking at me when I saw him. He smiled at me and it made me irritated. Grrr!!! How can he dare to look at me that way as if he has not done something wrong towards me?(baga jud xag nawong..duh) What I did is that I pretended that I haven't seen him and continued the conversation that I left with my friend and we sat at the front row. I was listening at the guest speaker's words of wisdom about her concept on making good habits. She cited a quote from Aristotle that goes this way,"You are what You are Repeatedly doing. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit". That quote puzzled us and drew my attention when I almost fell asleep because I was really tired because of last night's jamming that we had with my boardmates and friends. hahaha. So I listened very carefully and try not to fall asleep by slapping my face. hehehe. The message ended and we gave her a round of applause for her wonderful message that she has given to us. An intermission number followed. I thought that was the end of the program but what shocked and horrified me was when I heard the emcee called "Him" and his company. (my goshness. n.hirit p ang bwesit. n.ambit pjud. duh. p.impress) Everybody was cheering and enjoying, well, except me. He sang the song of Gary V entitled,"di bale nalang kaya". (duh. murag tsadag tngog. grrr) His voice irritated me so much. Maybe, if there's a lot of tomatoes there, I would probably threw it all on him. (pgkabaga jud) haiz.., Again, he ruined my day!!!! It saddened me to know that when I'll go home I would see his nonsense, irritating, worthless, UGLY FACE again..,:-/ P.S. It's not an insult but it's definitely all true.!!! hahahah

i Remember the Boy....

My life is full of mysteries which I can't even explain. And maybe, one of those mysteries is the day I knew him. I believe that was one of the happiest day of my life not knowing the consequences that lie ahead. He is very interesting for he texts a lot and never runs out of words to discuss. The next few days grew more exciting than I've ever imagined. His texts turned my boring vacation into an enjoyable one. (Will you ever enjoy your vacation at your hometown when all you could do is to watch the sun rises at the east and goes down at the west, smell the breeze of the ocean, observe the farm animals as they wander on the field, hear the irritating sounds of the passing vehicles at the highway, and most of all, repeat your daily routine all over again the whole break? Am I not wrong to say that it's totally boring???) But what happened? Everything changes after the day I heard that he already broke up with his girlfriend. He didn't even bother to text me nor return my missed calls just like he usually does. I was starting to think that he just needed time to be alone and recover from what had happened. So I stop texting him. Two weeks have passed and the long wait was finally over. At last, he texted me. I was so happy although his message was just "hi", a simple two-letter word but made my heart skipped a beat. But then, I felt so weak instead knowing that the way he texted me has changed. It was not the sweet usual way. I guess, he has already lost his appetite towards me. Thousands of questions came flashing through my brain just like lightnings of an angry storm. I could hardly digest some of it but there were few clear questions which I recognized easily. Like, "what's wrong with me?, why is he acting that way?, did I make something bad?, what's wrong with him then?". But the saddest part is when I figured out that I've already given my heart to him. I can't blame him for making me like this or do I really have to??? The world, I thought was an unbreakable one, which I started to build has gone down.;( I went to my room, picked up my phone, put on the headset then set the volume into ten and started to play the first song on my playlist. The deafening sound of the music was enough to trigger the agony that I'd been keeping since the day I realized that he was not actually mine. I burst into tears when I heard the intro of 21 guns by greenday, my favorite song, for it really fitted my situation. I don't wanna cry but I couldn't help it. I just let it flow through my swollen eyes down to my sun-kissed cheeks. The songs I was listening to somehow helped ease the pain I was feeling. Finally, I have slept peacefully that night which I thought was endless. The biggest mistake I've ever made was that I let myself fall for the wrong person. I should have known this from the start. I know, it takes time to recover and heal those scars that he left behind. So here I am today, trying to erase the fake fairy tale that I've been always dreaming of for it hurts a lot to remember that I've expected a lot and ended up broken.;( What I'm planning to do now is to erase totally the memories that we had and changing my number would be the best part of the plan so that he won't be able to text me again. Although it hurts to know that I can't communicate with him but I guess it would be better that way. It's enough for me that I've known a person like him. I thought he was the perfect one for me but I was wrong and that I still need to find my Mr. Right. So now, I have to move on and start a new one. A new path where I will not be able to meet him again along the way. Yes! I did love him but I know these feelings of mine will just wither away. Loving him was the biggest lesson I'll never forget. I hope someday I can find the courage to say these lines to myself, "I remember the boy but i don't remember the feeling anymore".;)